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When you find yourself thinking of someone positively and feeling infatuated by them or when you put them on a pedestal in your mind, then you are projecting positive qualities onto them. In the same way that we project negative traits onto others, we also project positive ones onto them. Those traits are usually ones that you minimized in your mind and considered as insignificant.įor example, you may project amazing traits onto a talented musician but deny the same level of talent in your dancing skills. Those positive traits that we do not acknowledge constitute the gold in the shadow. Just as we protect our sense of self by rejecting and denying that we have “bad” traits, we often do not fully acknowledge that we have “good” traits. Pro Tip: use the “ List Of Traits Handout” for reference. This takes a level of honesty and self-compassion that will allow you to self-observe without judgment. If you are not there, then there is something about yourself you’re not accepting and are projecting it onto the other person.Ī simple way to become conscious of what you’re rejecting and projecting onto others is to pay attention to words you use to describe what you dislike, then you go within and reflect on instances where you have been that trait. In a perfect world, you would accept everyone as they are and experience peace in their presence. This can be tricky to see and become aware of when we are faced with another individual who acts in mean ways toward us. It’s the ego’s way to maintain the illusion of being a certain way. This means that if you don’t accept that part of your potential is being mean, then you will project that trait onto someone or a group of people. ‘Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.’ Carl Jung Shadow projection is when the ego (self-image) projects rejected, unconscious traits onto the world including people you come across. However, you can still identify your shadow-self using “Shadow projection.” ![]() This makes your shadow-self difficult to spot. Identify Your Own ShadowĪnything we deny as being part of us becomes unconscious. This also helps you feel less judgmental and irritated toward others and less wishing that they would behave differently. This helps you quieten the inner critic or the judging part of the mind and feel more self-accepting, more at peace. Shadow work is the process of re-owning all the previously disowned (unaccepted) parts of your self-identity. Related: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy For Low Self Esteem – Top 18 CBT Exercise to Build High Self-Esteem What Is Shadow Work? However, when you feel less attached to how you experience yourself, you begin to feel calmer and more self-accepting. ![]() If you’re to experience one of these opposite traits for a few moments, you will feel terrible when you’re attached to being the positive traits. Related: How To Start A Self Love Journey? Top 10 Powerful Ways to Love Yourself More Who Are You Really?Įven if you think that you have a set of neat sounding traits like, intelligent, funny, loving, kind you still have to potential to experience all the opposites. Thus you can detach from how you experience yourself in each moment. You are every possible experience and every potential interpretation of that experience. You do not exist as a “thing.” You are transforming and evolving and you exist in relationship to others. The reality is there is no absolute, particular way that you are. Rejecting your shadow-self (the characteristics that you decide are not okay) can leave you feeling frustrated and stuck because you don’t like being you most of the time. Related: 30-Day Self-Love Challenge That Will Radically Change Your Life Why Welcome Your Shadow-Self? However, it’s only when you stop rejecting your shadow-self and learn to accept it that you can enjoy higher self-esteem and feel more in tune with your whole self. ![]() The shadow-self is whatever is left of your idea of you.įor example, you may describe yourself as “kind,” but never describe yourself as “mean.” In this example, “kind” would be your self-identity (ego), and “mean” would be part of your shadow-self. Your self-identity or self-image (ego) is nothing more than a creation within your mind that you identify as ‘you’. (2) and others you are unhappy to have in your identity (shadow) (1) ones you are happy to hold within your identity (ego), and Whether you are aware of this or not, you always have two sets of characteristics and traits: ![]() The ego, on the other hand, represents the part of our self-identity that we are familiar with and accept to a certain degree. The Swiss psychologist Carl Jung used the term ‘shadow ’ to refer to a person ’s dark-side – the part of their psyche they are not comfortable with or are not accepting.
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